FILM – Page 14

REDBOX READY: Week of June 16th, 2015!

June 20, 2015 by Adam Membrey

Hey, guys! Sorry this column has been absent for so long. The main reason for this is simple: I’m teaching summer school, taking summer classes, and finding new ways to avoid the Texas heat. This meant prioritizing, and this blog kind of had to suffer. Also: Redbox hasn’t exactly been inspiring lately (as you’ll see in the bottom half of this list). But the good news? My procrastination has led to a plus-sized column. Take a look!

THE SAFE BETS:

McFarland USA – Directed by Niki Caro

Tomatometer: 79%, Audience Score: 91%

The most important thing you need to know about this film is that it was made by Kiwi director Niki Caro. This is a name unfamiliar to everyone who hasn’t seen her incredible 2002 sophomore film, Whale Rider. And even if you have seen Whale Rider, this is the first film American audiences have had a great shot at seeing since her Charlize Theron-starring North Country in 2005. She’s shown time and time again that she’s got a great eye for detail and the ability to get great performances out of young, unproven actors. Whale Rider, like McFarland,USA, had every opportunity to be emotionally manipulative, and yet every single thing in that film felt earned. It appears to be the same case for McFarland, USA. Check it out.

Story: Kevin Costner plays a cross country coach who takes a band of misfits from one of the poorest towns in California to the upper reaches of championship contending!

Blush Factor: a small handful of minor swear words (that every teenager and parent of a teenager has heard) and some thematic content. This was meant to be a film for the family to see.

American Sniper

Tomatometer: 73%, Audience Score: 86%

The runaway box office hit of the Oscar season, this film had two conversations going on at the same time: the millions of Americans that went to see it, and the many think pieces that popped up all over the internet, questioning the factuality of the story. So here’s the thing: this film is supposed to be about Chris Kyle, and presents itself as something of a character study. But it also throws in the “based on a true story” and wants it to have it both ways: to honor a “hero” in impressive fashion, and to be able to say that narrative license was taken when the facts didn’t pan out. So here’s what you should know: this movie is so rife with factual errors – often minor changes that have huge ramifications in your understanding of the truth, changes that include inventing entirely new terrorist characters – that you can’t watch it and believe that you saw something historically accurate. The real Chris Kyle had views that would make a lot of us uncomfortable, and the film completely washes over that with a patriotism paintbrush. What you should focus on, however, is the transformative performance by Bradley Cooper. He’s completely changed his body into something bear-like. You can see the strength in him, as well as the nervousness around dealing with anything other than a military mission. His Texas accent is the first Texas accent I’ve heard on film that didn’t grate me out of the theater. Cooper deserves every accolade sent his way for his performance; it’s just a shame the movie around him didn’t have as much integrity.

Story: The movie follows Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle (Cooper), the deadliest sniper in military history, and the impact four tours of duty had on him and his family.

Blush Factor: Rated R for “strong and disturbing war violence” and lots of profanity – especially all scenes involving the military and their time over in the Middle East.

TheDUFF

The DUFF

Tomatometer: 72%, Audience Score: 71%

Any film that is going to call stalwart actress Mae Whitman a Designated Ugly Fat Friend (hence, the DUFF) is already moving on shaky ground. Whitman has proven her worth in a great deal of TV shows, including Arrested Development and Parenthood, in addition to a great deal of voice acting on American Dad, Family Guy, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. In fact, Whitman played the President’s daughter in the 1996 film Independence Day, and, true to Hollywood form, they went with a younger, blonder actress to play the same President’s daughter in Independence Day 2. So when it comes to classifying Whitman for the movies, the only ones that have done her any respect are 2012’s Perks of Being a Wallflower and 2010’s Scott Pilgrim vs the World. Basically, wherever Whitman goes, we should follow. This movie, despite it’s ugly title, seems to be one worth checking out.

Story: Upset that she has been labeled her school’s DUFF, a high school senior initiates a revolution of the social pecking order.

Blush Factor: Rated PG-13 for “crude and sexual material throughout”, with some language and teen partying thrown in.

Red Army

Tomatometer: 96%, Audience Score: 88%

I had never heard of this documentary until just a few days ago. If it’s anything like “The Other Dream Team”, that fantastic documentary about the Lithuanian basketball superstars, then you’re in for great little intersection of history and fun. The critic and audience scores speak for themselves. If you’re into history, sports, or just a good ‘ol documentary, here’s something to check out.

Story: This follows the story of the Soviet Union’s Red Army – one of the most successful sports teams of all time – from the perspective of its players.

Blush Factor: Rated PG for “thematic material and language”.

Black Sea

Tomatometer: 82%, Audience Score: 62%

Scottish Director MacDonald is mostly known for his documentaries, including the 2003 Andes-climbing Touching the Void and groundbreaking 2011 epic world-spanning montage of Life in a Day. He’s also made a nice batch of interesting, electric films, including 2006’s The Last King of Scotland and 2009’s State of Play. This film, a claustrophobic thriller that takes place entirely on a submarine, is full of great, intense actors, including Jude Law, Ben Mendhelsohn, Tobias Menzies, and Scoot McNairy. This isn’t a film with huge thematic concerns, but rather a nice, tight suspenseful tale performed with a great deal of skill and verve.

Story: As a way to make amends with his former bosses, a submarine captain takes a risky job with a shady backer, leading the submarine into the Black Sea in an attempt to find a sub loaded with gold.

Blush Factor: Rated R for course language throughout the movie, as well as some graphic images and violence.

Still Alice

Tomatometer: 89%, Audience Score: 85%

Julianne Moore won a well-deserved Best Actress Oscar for her performance in this film, in which her character struggles with the onset of Alzheimer’s. What has been pointed out about this film is that while most films about difficult diseases tend to focus on the family, this one keeps the focus on Alice. She’s still trying to be Alice, even while parts of her appear to be disappearing or in decline. Anytime you have a masterful (and yet somehow highly underrated) actress like Moore holding the center of the film, you know you’re in good hands.

Just weeks after Moore won her Oscar, however, co-director Richard Glatzer died at the end of a long battle with ALS. In fact, while filming this movie, Glatzer was unable to speak and gave all his direction and comments through a text-to-speech app on his iPad, typing out each comment with one finger. This speaks to the passion of not only Glatzer – to keep making the movies he loved even after his diagnosis in 2011 – but his co-director and spouse, Wash Westmoreland, and everyone else involved on the film. This movie was a passion project in more ways than one, and the results speak to that.

Story: A linguistics professor (Moore) is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, and her and her family struggle to cope with the changes it brings.

Blush Factor: Rated PG-13 for “mature thematic material” and some brief language.

Selma

Tomatometer: 99%, Audience Score: 86%

Movies like Selma can’t be any more timely. We are at a point in our nation’s history where racism is not only as present as ever before, but where the internet has allowed millions of opinions to be spilled out into the open. Sometimes this has lead to thoughtful discourse. Often it has resulted in hurried, half-thought opinions or heated, misguided comments. There are days it seems like we’re really going backwards. What Selma does so effectively, however, is show just how much of a struggle it was for the change we take for granted, and just how we can find a way to move forward from where we’re at now. The word “powerful” has been tattooed to this movie since its first viewing. Check it out.

Story: this follows the story of Martin Luther King’s fight to secure equal voting rights, and the march from Selma to Montgomery at the heart of it.

Blush Factor: Rated PG-13 for “disturbing thematic material”. This is mostly for the violent scenes of people being pushed, stomped upon, whipped, beaten, and all other kinds of brutal force. The “N” word and other racial slurs are heard repeatedly. There’s a lot of things in here that are disturbing because they should be – there should be no world where these things are acceptable.

IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME:

Spare Parts

Tomatometer: 56%, Audience Score: 86%

The based-on-a-true-story fight of an underdog is a movie trope as old as time. But when it’s done well? The impact is nearly peerless. Critics were not as found of this film as it’s spiritual sibling McFarland, USA, but audiences have responded nearly as well. This film may lack the grace and acting of its spiritual sibling, but it’s a great story nonetheless.

Story: Four hispanic high school students from a robotics club, and with nothing but 800 bucks and a dream, they make their way to compete against the reigning robotics champion from MIT.

Blush Factor: PG-13 for some language and violence.

The Rundown

Tomatometer: 71%, Audience Score: 66%

Why is a movie from 12 years ago showing up on Redbox? The easy answer is that Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock is having a great time at the box office and there’s a good opportunity to capitalize on his success. The better answer? Redbox wanted everyone to remind what a good, fun action flick can be. When I saw this film a number of years ago, it completely snuck up on me. I expected very little and got a lot in return: lots of laughs with big scoops of badass action. This is The Rock before he became Dwayne Johnson, when he was still an unknown commodity. You can also tell in the picture above he’s not nearly as huge as he is now. But film seemed to show people what Johnson is capable of – his ability to actually act and be funny on top of kick some ass – and set him on the action-movie superstar path he’s stomping across now. Also: any movie with Christopher Walken as a bad guy is going to demand some eyeballs.

Story: The Rock plays a bounty hunger sent deep in the Amazon to capture a man. When he finds out his capture isn’t who he thinks he is, the two team up to take down the bad guy.

Blush Factor: PG-13 for “adventure violence and some crude dialogue”. The language is mostly the kind you hear a high school boy toss off casually, and the violence comes from Johnson’s character refusing to use guns (because bad things happen with guns) and having to find other ways to take down his enemies.

Your Mileage May Vary:

Chappie

Tomatometer: 31%, Audience Score: 61%

Director Neill Blomkamp had one of the most impressive rookie debuts ever with 2009’s District 9, a movie I felt was one final shot away from being a stone-cold classic. Almost purely on the success of that movie alone – his ability to stretch a small budget wide and to use impressive visual effects to boot – Blomkamp had Hollywood in his hand. But after 2013’s misfire of Elysium, the narrative began to unravel. Maybe we had all jumped the gun with Blomkamp. Maybe he just wasn’t the rising star we all had him pegged to be. If there’s anything that his three feature films have showed us, it’s that he has an impressive, sophisticated eye for design. He knows how to make technology look good, like something you would actually see, and like something that has been used over and over. But the other part of the film’s design – the characters and story – don’t hold up as well. Whether that’s a sign that Blomkamp would be better off as a superstar production designer or a sign that he’s simply growing remains to be seen. Chappie hit theaters with a widely divisive critical response, with many writers going back to the drawing board to reshape Blomkamp’s career narrative. Can you really know everything you need to know about a director after 3 movies? We’ll have to wait and see.

Story: The future sports a crime force led by robots. When a robot is stolen and given new programming, it begins of journey of learning how to think and feel for itself. The consequences of this ensue.

Blush Factor: Rated R for violence, language, and brief nudity. Blomkamp’s films tend to have a pattern here: there is lots of swearing, and the violence can be rather over the top. Lots of shots with blood splatters.

Fifty Shades of Grey

Tomatometer – 25%, Audience Score: 43%

Look, here may be a shocker to you: I actually saw this movie. Here’s the bigger shocker to some of you: it’s not as bad as you may expect, but it’s also not nearly as good as it good be. Dakota Johnson is pretty incredible in this movie, giving Anastasia more depth than probably ever existed on the page. She seems to be having fun with this movie and giving it more humanity than maybe it ever intended. Jamie Dornan may have been shooting for “cold” as his characterization, but he almost fades into the scenery. Director Sam Taylor-Johnson does her damnedest to make this something with taste and to make some kind of sense. I think she did about as good a job as anyone could have expected in translating this to the screen, and her exit from the franchise will be a challenge for the future films to deal with. Hopefully the visibility of the role of Anastasia will help Hollywood realize just how talented Dakota Johnson is and give her a handful of movies more deserving of her talents.

Story: A literature student – Anastasia – meets a handsome, tormented billionaire in Christian Grey. They don’t search for 50 shades of grey in his closet, but they do find other things to do.

Blush Factor: There’s a lot of sex in this movie, as well as a lot of nudity, with almost all of it being Johnson. While this may be about what everyone expected to see, I would say that Taylor-Johnson has done a great job of making it seem at least somewhat tasteful (even if it isn’t).

Serena

Tomatometer: 18%, Audience Score: 28%

If you have a movie with two of the bigger stars in film today in Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence, and no one’s heard of it, I’ll spare you the problem-solving: it’s probably not very good. The reviews were pretty savage, with the audience barely able to shrug. If you’re a Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence completist, with your sole mission in life to make sure you see every one of their movies, then this one just might be for you. Even then, I’m not sure you’ll survive it. This might make this the perfect movie for a drinking game.

Story: Set in 1930’s North Carolina (but shot in Europe – who knew?) a man’s timber empire is suddenly threatened when he marries the titular character, Serena.

Blush Factor: Rated R for some violence and sexuality. People have sex in this movie with no nudity shown, and there’s lots of violence using tools more appropriate to the 1930’s, but with blood more appropriate to the 2000’s.

Blackhat

Tomatometer: 34%, Audience Score: 25%

When I first heard this movie was going to be about computer hacking, my first thought was probably yours: since when does a computer hacker look like Thor? This led down a very interesting internet rabbit hole that proved, yes, there is a hacker that looks like Thor and seems to relish in that comparison. Director Michael Mann has always been known as a man of research and detail, and there’s been lots of word that this might be the best/most accurate computer hacking movie of all time. If that’s the kind of movie you’re looking for – an accurate computer hacking movie with Thor at the center of it – then look no further.

Story: An extremely talented hacker, out of prison for the first time in 15 years, finds some of his code as part of a malware program that’s part of a cyberattack and…I don’t know, guys. Basically this involves a lot of computer hacking, some American and Chinese actors, and an arch-villian hacker – who knew those existed?

Blush Factor: Rated R for some violence and language. And not for Thor being naked. Sorry, ladies.

Project Almanac

Tomatometer: 35%, Audience Score: 47%

The critic reviews may not reflect it, but this is one of those movies that seemed to kind of sneak out as a sleeper hit among the various movie websites I frequent. This is one of those movies that, approached with low expectations, may actually turn out to be pretty enjoyable. Also: the director of this one is going to direct the new Power Rangers movie. Is that not a vote of confidence?

Story: a group of teens stumble upon some plans for a time machine. They build it. It works. And things, as they always do, get out of control.

Blush Factor: Rated PG-13 for some teens talking about sex (but not really having it), some violence, and some strong language typical of your average high schooler.

Lost River

Tomatometer: 29%, Audience: 44%

Here’s what you need to know: if you ever wanted to know what it would look like if Ryan Gosling made his own movie, this is what you get. However, this movie is not a 90-minute montage of “Hey, Girl” memes brought to life. This is what happens when Gosling spends his last two movies (2011’s Drive and 2013’s Only God Forgives) deep inside the colorful, violent psyche of Dutch filmmaker Nicolas Winding Refn. Gosling and Refn got along so well together on Drive that their friendship isn’t just one of being in their own movies – it’s a kind of creative alchemy that has clearly rubbed off on Gosling. As a result, this film came out and completely floored people. And not necessarily in a good way. What I have heard about this film is that it’s certainly not boring. There’s lots of great imagery and ideas on display, but just not distilled into a coherent narrative. If you’re a Gosling completist or looking for something completely off the well-beaten movie path, then this is something maybe worth checking out.

Story: I’m going to quote this straight from IMDB.com: “A single mother is swept into a dark underworld, while her teenage son discovers a road that leads him to a secret underwater town.” Sounds crazy? It probably is.

Blush Factor: Rated R for “disturbing violent images”, rough language sprinkled throughout, and in a true influence from Refn, lots of extreme blood and gore.

The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

Tomatometer: 78%, Audience Score: 57%

I’m one of those weird people who has always found Spongebob Squarepants to be a kind of brilliant TV show. But I get that it’s not for everyone. On the flip side, when I first saw these cartoon characters blown up with CGI like real-life superheroes, I thought I had a bad case of indigestion. It just looked rather grotesquely off. But this film was a hit with critics and not nearly as much with audiences. One possible takeaway from this is that critics appreciated and respected what the movie was going for more than audiences actually enjoyed watching it. Just something to keep in mind.

Story: A pirate from above the sea of Bikini Bottom steals the Krabby Patty formula, leaving Spongebob, Patrick, Sally, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and Plankton to band together to get it back.

Blush Factor: Rated PG for “mild action and rude humor”.

Inherent Vice

Tomatometer: 73%, Audience Score: 54%

Paul Thomas Andersen has always been a bit of a critics darling, with his films Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch-Drunk Love, There Will Be Blood, and The Master regularly showing up not just on year-best lists but decades-best list of critics everywhere. But part of what makes PTA so brilliant is also what makes him so alien to the average American moviegoer. His films often play out like novels, dense with complex characters and interwoven themes. While this leads to a great number of incredible performances, buckets of awards, and iconic images, it also sometimes makes us appreciate and respect his films more than we love or enjoy them. His last film, The Master, is a great example of this. I found the acting of Philip Seymour Hoffman (RIP) and Joaquin Phoenix to be about the two best film performances I’d seen in a long time, but by the end of the film, it didn’t add up with any kind of gut punch. I found myself respecting the movie far more than enjoying it – and I was not the only one. What’s different about Inherent Vice, adapted from the Thomas Pynchon novel of the same name, is that it very clearly divided the critics. And for the first time in a while, there were critics who came out as loving it. Not just respecting it, not just talking about the great parts, but loving it and seeing it over and over, even when they couldn’t explain what exactly it is that grabbed them this time. So there’s a very real possibility that 10 years down the line, this will be the most loved and underrated of PTA’s works.

Story: Set in 1970, a private investigator investigates the disappearance of a former girlfriend. He takes lots of drugs in the process.

Blush Factor: Rated R for drug use throughout, sexual content, graphic nudity, strong language and some violence.

Everly

Tomatometer: 33%, Audience Score: 31%

If you ever wanted to see Salma Hayek kick some unholy ass, this is your film.

Story: A woman finds out her ex-husband is a mob boss, and fights them off one by one as she’s stuck in her apartment.

Blush Factor: Some brief sexual content, lots and lots and lots of violence and blood (of course!), with bloody fighting and guns being used all throughout. Lots of language as well, because it wouldn’t be intense violence without some intense language.

YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN:

Playing It Cool

Tomatometer: 19%, Audience Score: 33%

When Chris Evans isn’t busy eating chicken and broccoli, lifting heavy weights, or filming his latest Captain America role, he likes to fill his time with some interesting movie projects. I’m not sure just how interesting this movie is, but it seems as though some people have found it rather refreshing and interesting. So take that with a grain of salt. Also, there’s a lot of fine, welcome actors in this one, including Michelle Monaghan, Topher Grace, Aubrey Plaza, Luke Wilson, Martin Starr, Anthony Mackie, Patrick Warburton, and Ioan Gruffudd.

Story: a screenwriting, obviously struggling with his writing, doesn’t believe in love. He looks to other people to give him ideas, and along the way, meets a pretty special girl. It’s classic romantic comedy formula, but considering the main character is a screenwriter, it probably also tries to be a little too clever.

Blush Factor: Rated R for showing a man and woman have some sex, but with no nudity. Some brief violence.

The Boy Next Door

Tomatometer: 10%, Audience Score: 36%

There are two things working against this film from the start: one, the simple fact that Rob Cohen, the extreme action director of such mindless classics as XXX, Stealth, The Fast and the Furious, and Mummy 3, is boxing those macho instincts into a rather intimate story, and two, that this seems to be the kind of movie Jennifer Lopez makes whenever she feels like it, just to prove she can be a movie star. Now, sometimes you can have two opposing forces like this that form a beautiful tension and create something special. And then sometimes these forces combine to create a movie that’s totally worth seeing with some friends, a 12-pack, and bellies that are ready to laugh and laugh and laugh at the ridiculousness. I’m going to bet on the latter outcome.

Story: a recently divorced woman, burnt by her ex-husband’s affair, falls in love with the boy next door. Who happens to look like a model. Obviously, everything is not as it appears.

Blush Factor: Rated R for some sex scenes, some tasteless violence, some scary/intense scenes, lazy profanity, and the casual glass of wine.

Seventh Son

Tomatometer: 12%, Audience Score: 37%

Warner Brothers Studios and Legendary Pictures originally made this film together as if making a little fantasy baby. And then they had a rather ugly break-up where they ended their partnership and Legendary moved out of the house to shack it up with Universal Studios. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that, in trying to figure out what to do with their child, Legendary looked at their newborn and it had the name Seventh Son. Being that it was the seventh and not the first son, you can also see how much of a priority it became. Production delays certainly didn’t help matters (we all know how hard it is to raise a kid in the tumultuous throes of divorce), but when it finally came out, it probably felt like a neglected child released into the world. Having said that, this seems to be a rather solid, if basic fantasy adventure story with some nice, spiffy visual effects to spruce it up. If that’s the kind of thing you get a kick out of, then give this unloved child a welcome home.

Story: something about the seventh son of the seventh son going on a quest. I read the synopsis eight times and it still doesn’t make any more sense.

Blush Factor: PG-13 for lots of fantasy violence and some fantasy cleavage.

Hot Tub Time Machine 2

Tomatometer: 14%, Audience Score: 30%

Comedy sequels are hard to do well. Comedy relies so much on surprise that it’s hard to build on the same jokes or tell them in a different way that doesn’t betray the original that came before it. As a result, we’ve seen more and more recently comedy sequels opt to try something new, hoping they can hit what works while building some new comedy dendrites. The best recent example of this is 22 Jump Street, where Lord and Miller were able to make fun of sequels as if they were playing with Meta Lego Blocks, and yet never lose sight of the emotional core of the story. It worked liked gangbusters and people seemed to really love it. But another route comedy sequels have taken is to get darker and meaner. This seems to be Hot Tub Time Machine 2. Many critics seemed to a be a bit aghast at how far they went with this sequel, going to places that may have traded good taste for questionable laughs, and using the small budget as a reason to get even weirder beyond that. As a result, it hasn’t resonated anywhere near as much as the original. Anything with Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, and Adam Scott is always going to be worth at least a peak in my book. Come for the comedy stars you know and love; stay for the weirdest, darkest ride you never expected.

Story: The guys get in trouble and do some more time traveling in the hot tub. It goes about as well as a comedy sequel will allow it.

Blush Factor: This movie is about as hard an R-rated comedy as they make. Lots of nudity (including a penis!), lots of over-the-top violence (a head gets shot!), lots of swearing, and lots of drugs (of course).

The Cobbler

Tomatometer: 11%, Audience Score: 36%

I’m not sure what happened with this movie. Writer/director Thomas McCarthy has been about as unimpeachable a filmmaker as any in his career thus far, so pulling over with a flat tire was bound to happen at some point. Anyone who’s seen McCarthy’s movies, 2003’s The Station Agent (see it!), 2007’s The Visitor (see it!), or 2011’s Win Win (see it, too!), knows the guy is excellent with actors and crafting simple, subtle stories that ultimately win you over. And Adam Sandler has been known to bring his A-game whenever he walks into dramatic territory. So I’m not sure what went wrong here. If nothing else, this should be an interesting misfire to watch. Otherwise, we’ll start getting in line for McCarthy’s return to form, dismissing this misfire as just a case of bad gas.

Story: A shoe repairman grows weary of his job before stumbling upon the ability to walk in other people’s shoes. I know it sounds like a bad metaphor stretched out to 90 minutes. Maybe that explains it.

Blush Factor: PG-13 for a little bit of a shower scene, some blood and violence (more than you’d anticipate from crossing paths with a shoe repairman) and some swearing here and there.

Cymbeline

Tomatometer: 29%, Audience Score: 16%

One of the the great gifts of Redbox, Netflix, and the world of alternative movie distribution is that the most random of movie ideas ekes its way onto your screen, somehow carrying some fine, credible actors in its wake. Case in point: Cymbeline. This movie is pitched as the Shakespeare play with biker gangs. I read a comment on IMDB.com that someone compared it to Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet meets Kurt Sutter’s Sons of Anarchy. If that sounds like a good time to you, then maybe this movie is for you. It’s also possible this movie is for nobody.

Story: A war breaks out between dirty cops and an outlaw biker gang. Shakespeare dialogue is somehow used. Ethan Hawke, Ed Harris, Dakota Johnson, Anton Yelchin, Kevin Corrigan, Bill Pullman, and lots of other great, capable actors found their way into this one.

Blush Factor: Some violence and profanity, along with some drinking and smoking. You know, the kind of things you typically associate with dirty cops and biker gangs.

Tracers

Tomatometer: 22%, Audience Score: 36%

Remember when Taylor Lautner was a big deal? Remember when millions of adolescent girls – and their moms – argued over whether they were Team Edward or Team Jacob? That seems so, so long ago. At the height of Taylormania (before Taylor Swift showed just how crazy it could be), Lautner was shopped around Hollywood with all kinds of potential action franchises hanging around his neck. They were even floating a Stretch Armstrong movie. Stretch Armstrong, people! But since the Twilight franchise has finally gone into that good night, Lautner’s light has dimmed with it. Never trust a movie with a low budget and long layoff – this movie finished filming in August 2013 and didn’t finally come out on DVD until nearly 2 years later in March of 2015.

Story: A bike messenger, somehow wanted by the Chinese mafia, escapes into the magical world of parkour, where he meets a beautiful girl and her parkour posse, and they go on to do parkour-y, definitely criminal stuff.

Blush Factor: PG-13 for some kissing, a scene with a girl in her underwear, some armored robberies/cheap action movie gun shooting, and a couple swear words.

REDBOX READY #2: End of April, Beginning of May!

May 2, 2015 by Adam Membrey

Welcome to the second week of Redbox Ready! I apologize for this being so late. It’s been a crazy time of teaching these days, and so I’ve fallen behind the pace. This edition will be until the next edition on May 5th comes up. Enjoy!

The I Actually Just Saw This And Make It The Pick of the Week Award:

Beyond the Lights – directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood

Tomatometer: 81%; Audience Score: 79%

I can’t say enough good things about this film. You know it’s a great movie when the opening scene is referred to later in the movie, and you go, “Oh man, this is so good.” That’s the kind of movie Beyond the Lights is. On the surface, it sounds rather predictable. But under the surface and everywhere else? It’s a great story of trust and really seeing someone for who they are. Noni (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) and Kaz (Nate Parker) are two great characters played by great actors. Kaz, in particular, is one of the first leading male characters in a long time that I’ve not only liked a great deal, but had deep respect for. The man has his stuff together. He’s got quotes all over his apartment. He means well and treats his women as respectfully as you expect. You’re actively rooting for him the whole movie just as you’re rooting for Noni to give him a chance. And when they both escape to get away from the facades they live with and see their real selves? That’s where the magic and the beauty and all that wonderful stuff happens.

This is a deeply felt movie with care and love spread all over it. I truly believe it will get it’s day in the sun years from now, and you’ll be able to nod emphatically and say, “Yes. Yes. Oh, yes. That’s a good one.”

Blush Factor: The movie is PG-13 for some sexual content and suggestive language/gestures – understand that Noni is a pop star. You won’t see anything in the movie you haven’t seen on MTV or your average music awards show a hundred times. Don’t be deterred by the early imagery – the movie allows Noni the chance to see all the sexual imagery for what it really is and how it’s negatively impacted her life. And yes, she makes a change for the better.

The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies – Directed by Peter Jackson

Tomatometer: 61%; Audience Score: 76%

When it was first announced The Hobbit would be adapted into 2 films, with the second being a bridge film into Lord of the Rings, the hook seemed simple enough. We all liked our Lord of the Rings movies, and why not spend a little more time with those cool hobbits and their terrible ability to stay out of trouble? But then Peter Jackson, slumping through Hollywood after beating his last two films (King Kong and The Lovely Bones) to death with too much CGI, backed his back into Middle Earth. I had hope that maybe this would be a nice return to form for Jackson. The Lord of the Rings trilogy showed a great affinity for merging practical effects with the necessary CGI to make it all work. Middle Earth felt tangible and lived in. The threats felt real.

But I should have known better. Two Hobbit films quickly became 3, with each one veering dangerously close to 3 hours. It made sense for the Lord of the Rings films to be as dense as they were. But a much smaller book like The Hobbit? You could hear the bloat before you even saw it. I completely skipped on the first Hobbit film, assuming it would be 3 hours of walking and eating (turns out I wasn’t too far off), and then gave the second, The Desolation of Smog a try. But here’s a hint: if you make your audience sit through 2 1/2 hours of a barely-there story only to hear “Oh, no, what have we done?!” and CUT TO BLACK? You have failed in your job to tell a complete, worthwhile story. I gave up after that ending. I didn’t care what they had done and I didn’t care to see anything more.

So here’s where it’s entirely up to you: this is the last of the Hobbit trilogy. It’s a trilogy that’s almost 90% made by a computer, 5% taken up by actors, and the remaining 5% a product of the New Zealand Board of Tourism. The subtitle, however, is The Battle of Five Armies. You are guaranteed to see a lot of action. Most of it will probably be CGI, which means that some of it will look great and a lot of it will look like a video game. If this is the kind of thing that hits your sweet spot, then look no further. The best part? You can pause the movie as often as you want to for those necessary potty breaks.

The Plot: It’s in the subtitle. There’s a battle involving five armies, one of which may or may not be a bunch of hobbits.

Blush Factor: PG-13 for “extended sequences of intense fantasy action violence” and “frightening images”. Basically, one violent, slightly frightening video game.

UNBROKEN - 2014 FILM STILL - (L to R) Mac (FINN WITROCK), Phil (DOMHNALL GLEESON) and Louie (JACK O'CONNELL) - Photo Credit: Universal Pictures © 2014 Universal Studios. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. — UNBROKEN – 2014 FILM STILL – (L to R) Mac (FINN WITROCK), Phil (DOMHNALL GLEESON) and Louie (JACK O’CONNELL) – Photo Credit: Universal Pictures © 2014 Universal Studios. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Unbroken – Directed by Angelina Jolie

Tomatometer: 51%; Audience Score: 71%

Every year, Hollywood loves to preordain films they know will be Oscar contenders. All you have to do is look at the people involved and if it was based on a bestselling book. There are important actors and directors taking it on and the sentiment seems to be, “Well, as long as they don’t completely screw it up…” as if they could take a checklist to Oscar Night and trade it in. But the thing about these preordained films is that while many of them do indeed roll into Oscar season with all the PR buzz to power a small town, many of them completely fall away.

I can’t think of a film that came with more pedigree than Unbroken. It’s based on an incredible true story. Angelina Jolie is directing it. The Coen Brothers co-wrote the script. The cinematography is being taken care of by none other than one of the very best in the game: Roger Deakins. And yet once the film started to screen for those around town, the buzz never materialized. What does that say about the film? It’s highly possible you will enjoy it a great deal. There seems to be a something certain missing from this film that makes the whole thing snap together in an unmistakably award-winning way.

If nothing else, you’ll see an inspiring story draped in the some of the most beautiful imagery you’ll ever see in a film. If that’s how you like your movies, then Unbroken is here for you.

The Short Story: After nearly dying in a WWII plane crash, Louis Zamperini spends 47 days in a life raft before being sent to a Japanese POW camp. He also does some other really inspiring things.

Blush Factor: The film is PG-13 for “intense sequences of brutality” (the POW camp) and some brief language. The torturing at the POW camp is supposed to be pretty intense, so be aware of that.

Accidental Love – directed by David O. Russell (sorta)

Tomatometer: 6%; Audience Score: 22%

Before David O. Russell become a perennial awards contender with The Fighter, Silver Linings Playbook, and American Hustle, he was a tough, neurotic director that Hollywood didn’t quite know how to handle. You don’t have to go far on Youtube to find videos of Russell having epic blow-ups with his actors. Accidental Love – formely Nailed – is the last film Russell filmed before his pre-Oscar-streak exile. He didn’t even really finish it, actually, with the film being suspended multiple times due to completely running out of money. If you’re the kind of completist film fan who loves to see all those train wrecks that great directors sometimes make, then this is the film for you.

The Short Story: a small-town waitress gets accidentally shot in the head with a nail. This causes unpredictable behavior of which the entire movie is based upon.

Blush Factor: some swearing, some brief sex scenes with no nudity, and the scene in which the waitress gets the nail in her head – might be a bit much for viewers.

Paddington – Directed and Written by Paul King

Tomatometer: 98%; Audience Score: 83%

Back in Fall of 2014, the Paddington teaser seemed to be at the front of every movie I saw in a theater (of course, that might say more about my taste in movies than anything else). And you know what? I hated it. The CGI bear kinda creeped me out a little; the gross-out humor with the ear wax just seemed completely out of place. It all just felt wrong.

So guess what happens? Turns out the teaser is not at all representative of the rest of the film! I’ve never heard of that one before! Snark aside, I’ve heard some amazing things about this film. It’s supposed to be utterly delightful and delightfully heartwarming. Colin Firth is the voice of the bear, for crying out loud. You know the film will survive on pure charm alone. Check it out. I know I will, too.

The Short Story: a young Peruvian bear somehow travels to London in search of a home. A family takes him in and takes a liking to him.

Blush Factor: PG for some mild humor and some scary moments, including whatever villianous character Nicole Kidman is playing (Kidman herself said her character was scary enough she wasn’t going to show her kids the movie for a while).

The Wedding Ringer – Directed by Jeremy Garelick

Tomatometer: 28%; Audience Score: 71%

This looks to me less like a movie and more like the logical conclusion of How Many Movies Can We Put Kevin Hart and Josh Gad In? Of course, you gotta have a movie with them together! And of course you have to make a bunch of gay-panic jokes! Gotta get those 13-year-old boys laughing!

I don’t know what to say about this film other than it’s been in development hell for a long time. Anytime a film has been cooking this long and comes out looking this lame, you gotta give it a moment of respect. If Kevin Hart somehow tickles your funny bone (I have yet to see him say a line that isn’t full-on yelling) or Josh Gad is the lovable loser you’ve grown to love, then this is the film for you.

The Short Story: The groom needs some groomsmen, but is too socially awkward to have any real male friends (this is Hollywood, people). He hires a man to help him fill out the Groomsmen Lineup.

The Blush Factor: Rated R for topless women, a brief scene of a dog licking peanut butter off a penis, physical comedy and slapstick violence, lots and lots of profanity – basically the kind of stuff added to a movie script when the filmmakers feel a PG-13 isn’t enough and they need to make it more ‘R’. None of this adds to the story.

Wild – Directed by Jean-Marc Vallee

Tomatometer: 90%; Audience Score: 78%

This is one of the best films I saw of all last year. I can’t recommend it enough. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll find something in it that will stick with you for a while. Stop reading this. Go watch it.

The Short Story: A woman loses her mother and her marriage, setting her off on a mission to hike the entire Pacific Coast Trial.

Blush Factor: Rated R for some “sexual content, nudity, drug use, and language”.

See you guys next week with more Redbox Ready picks!

Duking It Out: ESPN 30 for 30’s ‘I Hate Christian Laettner’

April 14, 2015 by Adam Membrey

It used to be that the sports scores were simply reported in the newspaper, all facts and figures and no flair. You knew where it happened, who was involved, and the various stats that followed. It was a game, and now it was over and on to the next one.

But somewhere along the way, we decided stats were not enough. We had to find a way to entertain ourselves in-between the games. So we created narratives. We came up with stories to lead into the game. We asked question after question of these poor athletes WHO HAD YET TO PLAY THE GAME what it all would mean. We gave them more to think about than the game itself.

The internet has only made it worse. Now every game has a narrative, a quote, a theme that is played out and stretched to its exhaustive end. We must entertain every angle, even as the story changes with each made shot or intercepted pass. It’s the same thing with any other kind of media or entertainment we consume these days – individual episodes of TV are frequently recapped by a deluge of writers; everyone has to comment on the latest Twitter feud; every photographed action by a celebrity is gossiped about, over and over again. We are learning to comment on things and forgetting to live our own lives.

That’s the beauty of ESPN’s 30 for 30 series. It takes it back to the basics, namely that the people at the center of all these great stories are, in fact, people. They have thoughts and feelings just like you and me. Regardless of the situation – whether it involves large sums of money, individual fame, or the tearing of a team fabric – they all have feelings and emotions not unlike the rest of us. And we forget that. We forget that when we talk about how much we hate a player; we forget that when we make threats on Twitter and argue about how lame they are in the lunch room. We forget that when we throw out their whole goodwill of a career and focus on their one little screwup – a screwup, of which, honestly, was just a clash of physics and probability.

I knew a lot of people hated Christian Laettner. I knew his name was thrown around as much of a punchline to many weak jokes. But I never really knew why. Why would one of the greatest college players of all time, who made perhaps the greatest shot in college basketball history, be so reviled? This documentary goes to great pains to show the 5 different criteria that seem to make up the Holy Temple of Laettner Hatred. And the film goes through each one of them, with exhaustive interviews from a great variety of sources – coaches, fans, media personalities, players he played with and against – and shows how each one of those 5 criteria is not what we thought it was. We may have hated Christian Laettner, but we certainly didn’t know him.

But it wasn’t Laettner the person we hated, we say. It was what he represented. Well, this film takes apart each of these representations and shows how hollow they are. You may still hate Duke. You may still hate Laettner the basketball player. But by the end, you will have a hard time hating Christian Laettner, the human being.

I Hate Christian Laettner is currently streaming on Netflix.

INTRODUCING ‘REDBOX READY’ – Week of April 14th

April 11, 2015 by Adam Membrey

Here’s the thing: I read about movies a lot more than I actually see them. There’s only so much time. There’s only so much energy. So when you make a choice of a movie to watch, you obviously want it to be worth your time. Netflix and Amazon Prime have so many options that it’s literally a full-time job to keep track of all of it. Not everyone has the cable or those premium movie channels. But Redbox? Everyone has some kind of access to Redbox.

But when you go to a Redbox kiosk, if feels like there’s a clock counting down. There’s already either a line waiting behind you, or people are slowly moving through the parking lot and heading your direction. You have a limited amount of time to make a pretty important choice. The sad thing? You don’t have a lot of information to make that choice. You can see the movie covers. You can try and read the synopsis, but that always takes up more time and angers the people behind you. What would happen if you went to Redbox with an informed mental list of what you wanted to get? You could not only pick a good movie, but in a short amount of time.

Enter Redbox Ready. Each week, I’m hoping to give you some short snippets about the Redbox releases so you can make an informed choice. I can’t guarantee you’ll love the movie, but I can guarantee you’ll know more about it than if you had not read this column.

Since I know some of you reading this have a family to consider, I’m going to introduce a new aspect: The Blush Factor. Again, I’ve read about far more movies here than I’ve seen, so I can’t promise anything; but I will do my best to warn you of the Blush Factor – you know, anything that might make you nervous around your family. Swearing, sex, lots of violence – that kind of thing. Sometimes you can tell by the film’s rating; sometimes you can tell by the people who wrote the script and made the actual movie. There’s nothing lamer than taking a movie home you’re excited about only to find a few minutes in that it’s totally not appropriate for the audience watching it. Let’s avoid that blushing.

Coming to Redbox on April 14^th:

Big Eyes (2014) – directed by Tim Burton, starring Amy Adams and Christoph Waltz

Rotten Tomatoes: 71 %, Audience Score: 70% Liked It

Director Tim Burton has had his head in the CGI clouds for some time now. Go back to his first films and you’ll see a man enamored with the practical – stop-motion and make-up, the eerily realistic over the disarmingly fake. But more and more, Burton’s style began to completely overwhelm any story he was trying to tell. The Master of Macabre got drunk on his own medicine. It then led into a movie I still find grotesquely ugly – 2010’s Alice in Wonderland – for just how full of clashing, poorly composited CGI it is. I resigned myself to the fact that maybe Burton was gone for good. We got some good movies out of him; we could all move on. But then 2012’s Frankenweenie saw him return to the stop-motion that pushed him in the early years, and 2014’s Big Eyes has been reported as a nice return to storytelling form. There’s no major CGI or dark, quirky design elements. This is Burton telling a simple story and telling it well. Let’s hope it’s a sign of good things to come.

The Short Story: Margarent Keane is known for painting figures with unusually large eyes and, running from her husband with only her paintings and her kids, runs into Walter Keane, a fellow painter. Walter goes off selling the paintings while Margaret paints at home – but she doesn’t know he’s actually selling the paintings as his own.

Blush Factor: Pretty low. It’s PG-13 for “brief strong language”. If you have an earmuffs set on hand for the family, you should be just fine.

Exodus: God and Kings (2014) – directed by Ridley Scott, starring Christian Bale and Joel Edgerton

Rotten Tomatoes: 28%, Audience Score: 37% Liked It

Ridley Scott is 78 years old. Just how many people do we know of that age who are making a 140 million dollar epic in the Middle East? You can take that as a sign that this movie has been imbued with some kind of amazing life force that refuses to die – or you can take it as a sign that studios will make anything with Scott as long as he’s still standing. But very few directors today can direct an epic with the eye that Scott has. He’s proven it time and time again over the years, and early trailers showed he still has that visual acumen. The movie gained a lot of controversy early on for having stars that look nothing like someone from the Middle East – like Hollywood’s never done that before.

The Short Story: Moses is pretty fed up with the Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses and leads 600,000 slaves on a pretty incredible, action-packed escape from Egypt.

Blush Factor: This is a PG-13 epic for “violence including battle sequences and intense images”. Expect a lot of fighting and maybe some digital blood. PG-13 movies are getting away with violence in ways they never have before, so be aware of that. The other Blush Factor? Respected actors Christian Bale and Joel Edgerton hitting the tanning salon too much in their attempt to look Middle Eastern.

The Babadook (2014) – written and directed by Jennifer Kent

Rotten Tomatoes: 98%, Audience Score: 75 % Liked It

The reputation of this Australian film precedes it. Every time I’ve heard the name of it, it’s always been after someone describing it as one of the scariest movies they’ve ever seen. Even better, it seems to that kind of scary flick that leans less on jump-scares on more on psychological horror, while somehow splicing in a really moving story about parents and children.

The Short Story: A mother loses her husband in a car crash. Her only son, whom she’s raising on her own, begins fearing monsters that no one else can see. They read a book about the ‘Badabook’ monster who lurks around the shadows of the house. This isn’t going to be a picnic.

Blush Factor: the film is unrated at the moment, but it has been called one of the scariest films in years by many, many people. In other words: leave the kids out of this one. The only other blush factor to worry about is how often you’ll accidentally pee your pants.

The Penguins of Madagascar (2014) – directed by Eric Darnell and Simon J. Smith

Rotten Tomatoes: 71%, Audience Score: 64% Liked It

The Dreamworks Animation franchise train keeps on rolling. After their successful TV show on Nickelodeon, it only made sense to make a Penguins of Madagascar movie. But since this film didn’t do too well at the box office (and Dreamworks Animation’s films have been struggling at the box office in general) enjoy it’s existence, with all its random lines and odd verbal jokes intact.

Short Story: If you know the plot of Despicable Me 2, you know the general plot of this profoundly silly, completely delightful film. The Penguins get wrapped up in a mission to stop an evil octopus from making all other penguins around the world far less cute and a lot more ugly. You read that right.

Blush Factor: Really low. This film is rated PG for “mild action and some rude humor”. So, farting. And maybe a couple jokes that will go completely over your kids’ heads.

Other Movies on Redbox Totally Worth Checking Out:

Big Hero 6 (2014) – Directed by Don Hall and Chris Williams

Rotten Tomatoes: 89%, Audience Score: 92% Liked It

This not only made my Top 10 List for the Year of 2014, but probably the Top 5 list of every kid in America. You can’t resist the cuteness of Baymax or the emotional story that threads its way through the movie. I work with deaf students with special needs, and I’m still amazed at how many details they remember and are able to communicate to me. You can pull out any movie from 2014 in front of them, and every single one of them picks Big Hero 6. This is a movie that has stuck to a lot of people for a variety of reasons. Disney has every right to be as proud of this film as they are.

Short Story: If you don’t know already, it’s about a young tech prodigy named Hiro who loses his older brother in a tragic accident and is stuck with his invention, a personal health care companion robot known as Baymax. Hiro also meets a group of well-meaning nerds who band together to fight against a dark power attacking the city of San Fransokyo.

Blush Factor: rated PG for “action and peril, some rude humor, and thematic elements”. The brother dying might be a bit tough for some little kids to take, but the real blush factor is going to be how much of a weeping baby you are by the end, and with nowhere to hide.

Beyond the Lights (2014) – Directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood

Rotten Tomatoes: 81%, Audience Score: 79% Liked It

When I was in high school, I heard many girls talk about this movie, Love & Basketball. It sounded too corny for a guy to like, so I promptly ignored it. When I got to college? Even more women who loved this movie and wouldn’t stop talking about it. If you were one of those women? That movie was directed by Prince-Bythewood and this is her first movie since 2008’s The Secret Life of Bees and only her third feature film overall. She might not make many, but she makes them good.

The Short Story: a young music superstar (up-and-comer Gugu Mbatha-Raw) is caving in from the pressures of fame until she meets Kaz (Nate Parker), a young cop who helps her become the person she’s always wanted to be.

Blush Factor: PG-13 for some minor sexual provocation, some minor violence, and some minor swearing. Nothing too crazy. Just enjoy the movie.

Whiplash (2014) – Directed and Written by Damien Chazelle

Rotten Tomatoes: 95%, Audience Score: 95%

I saw Whiplash a couple months ago in a theater and just couldn’t find a way to say anything about the film that hasn’t already been said before, and better. This is simply an incredible film about a young drummer and the man who pushes him past his limits. You may question his methods, but you won’t question just how kickass a movie this is. The final 20 minutes are my favorite stretch-run of any movie I’ve seen in the past year – I still get goosebumps just thinking about it.

The Short Story: a young freshman drummer goes to college, intent on being great. He runs into a demanding band instructor who wants nothing more than the best from his players. Something’s gotta give.

Blush Factor: There is a lot of language in this film, and most of it screamed by Oscar-winning actor J.K. Simmons. Because the camera closes in tight on him frequently, it may feel as though he’s in the room, and maybe even yelling at you. If you can’t handle obscenities at high volume, then maybe this film isn’t for you.

The Book of Life (2014) – Directed by Jorge R. Gutierrez

Rotten Tomatoes: 82%, Audience Score: 78%

Imagine taking a kaleidoscope, a firecracker, and some confetti and tossing it in a blender. Whatever you get out of that is still not nearly as colorful as The Book of Life. I highly recommend seeing this on the biggest screen and with the best picture possible. The artwork in this film is jaw-dropping, and when the film goes to the Land of the Remembered? You haven’t seen anything this gorgeously colorful. This is a film that celebrates the director’s culture as well as his American influences with some nice popular song covers. It’s about the most heartfelt movie you will see this year outside of Big Hero 6, and something for everyone to enjoy.

Short Story: Manolo, a young man torn between his family’s legacy and what he really wants, finds himself in the middle of a supernatural wager to win the love of his life. You’ve seen this kind of story before, but never with the verve, the depth, or the colors that this one has.

Blush Factor: PG for some mild action, rude humor, and scary images. There are some character designs that are pretty crazy, and the character of Xibalba might be a little visually intense for some.

Birdman (2014) – Directed by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu

Rotten Tomatoes: 93%, Audience Score: 80% Liked It

After their fractured-narrative films of Amores Perros, 21 Grams, and Babel, Inarritu and his collaborating writer Guillermo Arriaga went through a bad break-up. No one seems to know exactly what happened, but what followed was a re-evaluation: who was more responsible for how good their three films were? Did Inarritu carry it to greatness and make a decent script great? Did Arriaga create stories Inarritu merely had to point and shoot? Were the two of them just a beautiful collaboration of two distinct artistic voices?

Both men struck out on their own with Inarritu’s Biutiful being praised for it’s electric direction and incredible central performance from Javier Bardem, but derided for a weak and contrived script. Arriaga himself overwrote his directorial debut in The Burning Plain, with his script being called overly symbolic, too much like his other fractured, multiple narrative stories, and without emotional resonance. So who was going to emerge with the career, to get back on track?

While Arriaga has mostly made short films since, Inarritu collaborated with a team of writers and came out with the awards season darling Birdman, which won Oscars for Best Picture, Best Directing, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Cinematography. He’s now shooting a movie, The Revenant, with Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy. Not too shabby.

Short Story: The film follows a washed-up actor (Michael Keaton) as he battles his demons in the days leading up to the opening of his new Broadway play.

Blush Factor: Rated R. Lots of swearing, some sex, and a fair amount of bloody violence. It wouldn’t be an Inarritu film without a little bit of everything.

Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 – Directed by Francis Lawrence

Rotten Tomatoes: 65%, Audience Score: 74% Liked It

Director Francis Lawrence brought a nice eye to Catching Fire that gave the film some visual flair and epic world-building. The real problem with this film is that it really only tells half of a story, with the second half of Mockingjay hitting theaters in November. You can blame Lionsgate for that decision, but you can’t blame them for giving the production what it needs to make a pretty incendiary movie.

The Short Story: Katniss continues the fight in District 13. What more do you need to know?

Blush Factor: PG-13 for “intense sequences of violence and action, some disturbing images and thematic material”. A revolution was never going to be pretty or go quietly.

Interstellar (2014) – Directed by Christopher Nolan

Rotten Tomatoes: 72%, Audience Score: 86% Liked It

Last time Nolan followed up a Batman movie with 200-million dollar budget thinkpiece, we got 2010’s Inception. This time, following The Dark Knight Rises, we get Interstellar. Both times the media knew very little about these original films while they were being made. Nolan is one of the few who can command the budget, the large roster of incredible actors, and still remain in relative secrecy until just before film opens. While I’m still amazed I have not yet seen Nolan’s latest, it goes without saying that this is not a film to see when you’re tired – unless you want to fall asleep. There are a number of high-concepts tossed around here, and all of it played out by a large group of game actors. They don’t make movies much like this anywhere, so if you’re one of those people who complains that Hollywood is always dumbing down to it’s audience, this is your antidote.

Short Story: The Earth, devastated by drought and famine, is making it hard for people to survive. Our main character (Matthew McConaughey) must lead a team on a space shuttle deep into the space-time contiuum to try and find another hospitable planet and save the world before it ends. I think. I think that’s it. It’s pretty complicated stuff. Just see the movie!

Blush Factor: Low. Some “intense perilous action and brief strong language:. So, a lot of things go wrong and sometimes people swear about them like normal people do. Nolan’s films have been rather sexless affairs, so no need to worry on that front, either.

Under The Radar, But Now Pinging For Attention

A Most Violent Year (2014) – Directed by J.C. Chandor

Rotten Tomatoes: 90%, Audience Score: 73% Liked It

You know a movie’s going to be good when it’s about something that sounds entirely boring, and yet people talk about how explosive it is. Even better: putting two of today’s finest actors – Oscar Isaac and Jessica Chastain – together as the couple at the heart of it.

Short Story: Set in 1981 New York City, historically a year of violence, a young immigrant and his family try to make it out as oil salesmen. I told you it sounded kinda boring. But it appears to be anything but. And about that violence of this most violent year? Only two people die in the entire film.

Blush Factor: Rated R. Lots of violence and lots of swearing. You didn’t think 1981 New York City would be anything but, didn’t you?

The Voices (2014) – Directed by Marjane Satrapi

Rotten Tomatoes: 72%, Audience Score: 60% Liked It

Director Satrapi, who made the great graphic novel (and film adaptation) Persepolis, returns to the directing chair to work off another person’s script. The same dark sense of humor is here. Also joining in the fun is an entirely game, incredible acting performance from Ryan Reynolds, as well as nice turns from Gemma Arterton and Anna Kendrick.

The Short Story: Jerry (Reynolds) clearly has some issues but is refusing to take his meds. As a result, his cat, Mr. Whiskers, starts speaking to him about sinister, evil deeds, while his dog, Boscoe, does his doggy best to persuade him he’s still a good person and he can always do the right thing. The two voices grow louder and louder as Jerry continues to avoid taking his meds, leading him down a pretty awful path he can’t back away from.

The Blush Factor: there’s a lot of swearing in this one, with most of it coming from the cat (of course!). There’s also a lot of violence and blood and completely unexpected things being stocked up in piles of tupperware. The humor in the film takes some of the edge off, but this is still one bloody film.

The Double (2013) – Directed by Richard Ayoade

Rotten Tomatoes: 82%, Audience Score: 60% Liked It

Richard Ayoade, an actor mostly known for British comedy series, The IT Factor, carved out a nice spot for himself as a director with his debut, Submarine. I’ve been dying to see his follow-up, and here it is, with great young actors Jesse Eisenberg and Mia Wasikowska in tow.

Short Story: a young, introverted clerk in a government agency arrives to work one day to find he has a new co-worker – an exact physical clone of him and yet his complete opposite – outgoing, charismatic, and spectacular with the ladies.

Blush Factor: the f-word is used up to 15 times, and there are reoccuring mentions of suicide throughout the movie, as well as an attempt at the beginning and middle of the movie.

The Drop (2014) – Directed by Michael R. Roskam

Rotten Tomatoes 89%, Audience Score: 77%

Don’t let the boring title deter you. Screenwriter Dennis Lehane should be a familiar name to any crime fiction fans as he’s responsible for the novels of which the movies Mystic River, Gone Baby Gone, and Shutter Island were all based on. He also was a writer for HBO’s The Wire, which is always a great stamp of approval in my book. Here, Lehane wrote his first screenplay as an adaptation of his own short story, “Animal Rescue”. The script was enough to attract the great cast of Tom Hardy and the late James Gandolfini.

The Short Story: A bartender (Hardy) who makes money drops finds himself caught in the middle of a robbery gone awry, entrenching him in an investigation that reveals a town that works together to make a living, regardless of the costs.

Blush Factor: Rated R for a ton of swearing (66 f-words!) and violence. This is a crime film after all.

Top Five (2014) – Directed by Chris Rock

Rotten Tomatoes: 88%, Audience Score: 67%

I’ve never been convinced of Chris Rock as an actor. Every movie he’s in, he seems to be unable to blend into the scene. When Top Five took Sundance 2014 by storm, I figured, “Maybe he’s figured something out!”. But when I saw the film, the first half of it felt like that guy at a party who’s trying way too hard to sound smart. He uses obscure references. He moves around too much. He thinks he knows how things work when those who know better shake their head a little. There’s just too much going on, and it all seems to be a way for him to show you, “Look! I’ve come a long way!”. But once Rock, the director, writer, and actor, calms down about halfway through, the film gets a new charge. It feels like something real and organic. Rock looks comfortable with his luminous co-star Rosario Dawson. It feels like a film about two broken people trying to find their way around, and you totally buy it. It may take a while to get there, but once it does, it relaxes into a nice piece of work.

Short Story: A comedian who’s trying to make it as a serious actor agrees to allow him and his fiancé to be filmed for a documentary series about the days leading up to their wedding. Feeling the pressure, he takes a break from the madness and walks around with a journalist who’s intent on doing a story about him.

Blush Factor: Lots of nudity and sexual conversation, pretty non-stop profanity, and some drug use. Definitely not for the kids.

Foxcatcher (2014) – Directed by Bennett Miller

Rotten Tomatoes: 88%, Audience Score: 69%

This film first got attention as being “that movie where Steve Carrell has a beak for a nose” and “Can Channing Tatum win an Oscar?” Much of the award buzz unfortunately fizzled out as the year went on, but this appears to be still be a strong, potent film.

The Short Story: the film is based on a rather shocking true story, in which a Olympic Wrestling champion team of two brothers (Tatum and Mark Ruffalo) gets tangled up with a multimillionaire sponsor in John E. du Pont (Carrell) as they train for the 1988 Seoul Olympics. It doesn’t go well.

Blush Factor: Rated R for some violence and blood, brief profanity, drug use (cocaine), and a wrestler shown naked from behind as he weighs in. A gun murder is also shown.

Other Films Worth Considering:

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb (2014) – Directed by Shaun Levy

Rotten Tomatoes: 50%, Audience Score: 60% Liked It

You knew they were going to make a third film, because all Hollywood productions come in threes. If you enjoyed the first two, you will likely enjoy this final entry. It also sports one of Robin Williams last performances.

The Short Story: Larry goes to a museum in London to try and keep the magic alive.

Blush Factor: Low. Rated PG for “mild action, some rude humor and brief language”. If you see something awful, like a large monkey peeing on miniature Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan, ask your son, “Is that the appropriate place to tinkle?” and then pat yourself on your back as your child emphatically shakes his head.

Alexander and the No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Day (2014) – Directed by Miguel Arteta

Rotten Tomatoes: 62%, Audience Score: 60%

Director Miguel Arteta has been behind some pretty great little films of the last 10 years – Cedar Rapids, Youth in Revolt, and The Good Girl – as well as a great deal of television episodes. Here, he’s adapting Judith Viorst’s classic children’s book for the screen, and it appears to be just about what you expect – a movie about all the things that can go wrong and still remind you how lucky you are to have the family you do.

The Short Story: It’s all the there in the title. Alexander and his family don’t have a very good day.

Blush Factor: Rated PG. Some mild bathroom humor, a bit of slapstick violence, some pretty tame language. All in all: some good family fun.

Dumb and Dumber To (2014) – Directed by The Farrelly Brothers

Rotten Tomatoes: 29%, Audience Score: 39% Liked It

You won’t find many people a bigger fan of 1994’s Dumb and Dumber than this guy. I still laugh just as hard at it as I did twenty years ago. I initially found myself kind of excited about Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels reprising their roles from 20 years ago. Cautious optimism, I guess. But then the trailers came out, and some of the jokes seemed like they had been imported from a far crasser Farrelly Brothers movie. It didn’t feel the same. Something felt off. That got confirmed when the movie came out when several critics noted how, unlike the first film, there seemed to be a mean streak with the characters. The original film might have had Harry and Lloyd do some pretty awful things – but they never had any mean intent to them; they were simply clueless.

I still haven’t seen this film, and I’m not sure I really want to. I prefer to think of Harry and Lloyd as the lovable, well-meaning losers they are instead of the creepy, mean-spirited men they may have become. Check this out for yourself.

The Short Story: The boys go on a new road trip to find Harry’s newly discovered daughter, who had previously been given up for adoption.

Blush Factor: PG-13 for some crude sexual humor, some comedic violence, some drug use and some jokes that may be offensive to some.

Welp, that’s all for this week. Tune in next week for another edition of Redbox Ready.

ADAM’S FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2014

March 6, 2015 by Adam Membrey

Before I get started, apologies to the movies of 2014 I will no doubt love but have yet to see: Boyhood, Whiplash*, Nightcrawler, The Babadook, Birdman, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Locke, The One I Love, Force Majeure, Calvary, Foxcatcher, A Most Violent Year, The Skeleton Twins, Only Lovers Left Alive.

1. The Lego Movie

From my youngest years, LEGO has been a part of my life. I still have, in my classroom, over half of my collection that I’ve amassed over the years. I still play with them sometimes. And I have absolutely no shame over that.

So I approached this movie with trepidation until I found out Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, 22 Jump Street) were making it. These two dudes are not only some of the funniest directors working today, but they’ve shown time and time again that for all the hysterics that can whip their audience into, for all the creativity they throw out at you to the edges of every frame of film, they never, ever forget the importance of character and story. These guys know what makes it stick.

There are few thrills I had this year like seeing this movie in theaters for the first, second, and third time. Each time just as thrilling as the last. This is a movie built for the long run. It will probably outlast us. And it will probably inspire generations to come. Everything is awesome, indeed.

2. Obvious Child

I first heard about this film as “the one where the girl goes through with her abortion”. The media loves to summarize films into their most incendiary components (this is why Sundance is full of reports of crazy sex scenes that get spoiled 9 months before we get a chance to actually see them).

But Gillian Robespierre’s debut film, adapted from her short film of the same name, is the most charming film I’ve seen all year. It certainly helps having breakout actress/comedian Jenny Slate as her lead, but every actor brings such a humanity to their role that you can’t help but smile throughout. Even the characters who grind our gears at first are given their moments to show there’s more to them than meets the eye. And this is all without saying that the movie is hilarious. I laughed out loud. Far more than once.

This movie will also make you believe that a pee-fart is the most hilarious, most charming thing ever.

3. Edge of Tomorrow

From the time this film was announced as a sort of sci-fi ‘Groundhog Day’, the joke has been clear: either you can go to see Tom Cruise be a badass over and over, or you can go to see him die horrible death after horrible death, again and again, with delightful repetition.

The title changes didn’t sell me. The trailers did an okay job. But this movie, from start to finish, is one hell of a ride. It’s easy to have a plot that involves a lot of repetition become a fast-track to Snoresville, but Doug Liman and his band of movie men have made each do-over as thrilling as what came before. I don’t know how they did it. I’m just glad they did.

Yes, the third act falls into a bit of a trap in which it’s telling they didn’t have it figured out before they started filming. The scenes are too dark, the resolution too rushed. But it all leads up to the most euphoric ending that, against all expectations, is absolutely, absolutely earned.

4. Guardians of the Galaxy

Director/writer James Gunn finally got his chance to shine and play in a much bigger, more expensive toolbox. The amazing thing about this film is how much it feels like Gunn’s sensibility – with its colorful characters and oddball humor – and how it earns every emotion on display. This is the movie that helped Marvel realize anything is possible. Gunn has shown that you can make people care just as much about a simple-minded tree and a scarred raccoon as you can about Chris Pratt. That’s quite the trick.

Superhero movies have, since Batman Begins, been largely grey, drab affairs. Everything that was once colorful and energetic has suddenly been made dark, brooding, and gritty. Some comics are well-suited to this treatment. But anyone who has seen teenagers turn from their bright, effervescent selves to moody, brooding marketers of doom knows that sometimes, when it comes to the shadows, less is more. So I thank Guardians of the Galaxy, with its rich visual palette, for letting us all know that, hey, it’s totally okay to have a superhero movie with bright colors that pop and explode off the screen. It’s okay to have fun. It’s okay to be silly. It’s okay to embrace that goofball within you and spread it across a big piece of we’re-becoming-a-family slice of toast. These things are okay – and they can become enormously successful. So I give a standing ovation to Gunn for finding the emotional core of this film, spray-painting it with his full personality, and fighting for everything that made this as special as it is.

5. Wild

I’m still in awe of Nick Hornby’s screenplay. When Amores Perros came out in 2000, it birthed a great deal of movies that played with fractured narratives, moving back and forth and in-between the present, past, and future. And yet, whenever you aligned the pieces into chronological order, the result would be quite underwhelming. It became more smoke and mirrors, with a bucket of tears and overacting thrown in.

Wild is the first movie, that I can remember, that has so perfectly shown how memory works. There are no perfect, clean edits, but rather scenes that bleed into each other, sometimes from pain, sometimes from euphoria, and sometimes from both. Grantland and Entertainment Weekly have written great articles about just how well the music of the film runs parallel to the way the script works, fading in and out and in fragments and, more than anything, working just the way our memories do.

There is so much to admire about this film, and yet I nearly leapt from excitement when I saw Laura Dern nominated for Best Supporting Actress. Her screentime may be compact, but her impact runs far longer. She makes the pain of loss hurt all the more, and helps you understand just how, in her absence, someone’s life could spiral so badly as to require this incredible journey in the first place.

6. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

It says a lot about 2014 that the movie I looked forward to the most ends up at #6. This film has balls, guys. It starts with almost 20 minutes of no dialogue, nothing but the apes working together in concert and giving us a chance to experience the civilization they have built. It’s all so elaborate and beautiful, and WETA has done a stunning job of outdoing themselves. These chimps feel as alive and real as ever.

I want to point out something that really stood out to me about the making of this film: in the first of the new Apes, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, there were several times where the apes would be swinging in places and in ways that were in no way safe for even a stunt performer. So CGI had to be used. And it really showed. It took me, and, I imagine many others, out of the film.

But this time, director Matt Reeves and his crew did something different: the did motion capture with parkour and gymnastics athletes, and then did their magic. The result is apes that move around, even from high above the tree-tops, in such realistic fashion. It makes a difference, guys. If you can believe how something moves, you can believe how ANYTHING looks. Too often we see it the other way around – the creation will look almost photorealistic, and then look immediately fake once it starts moving. The danger is eliminated. The character ceases to exist. But here? I totally believe them as they’re moving through the forest, working towards an absolutely uncertain conclusion.

This is a film about trust. About how hard it is to earn and how easily it can be broken. This is a story about two chimps, Caesar and Koba, who sit on opposite sides of the coin. One trusts humans, and the other, for completely understandable reasons, cannot stand them. And with the chimps having something that the humans absolutely need, something has got to give. The pacing is deliberate, but never slow. This story takes its time to show you all the increments of change that click into place, that shift gears in ways that are irreversible. And by the end, you will not only be satisfied, but dying for the next chapter. All hail Caesar.

7. Big Hero 6

When Disney first acquired Marvel in 2009, we all wondered out loud which comics their animation studio would take on and run with. In fact, Big Hero 6‘s eventual co-director, Don Hall, recounted to Wired Magazine about the time when he lined up his pitches for possible adaptations, starting with what he felt were his strongest ideas and moving down. As he worked his way to the end of the line, head animation honcho John Lasseter remained, for the most part, still. He didn’t say much. When Hall finally got to the pitch for the 90’s obscure comic Big Hero 6, he described the heart of the story: a young boy who loses his brother, and the robot who essentially becomes his surrogate sibling.

“Finally, Lasseter spoke. ‘That one,’ he said. He was taken with the idea that a robot could become a brother to the main character, and care for him, and teach him. “It had potential for a tremendous amount of heart,” Lasseter says.”

This story not only speaks to the strength of Big Hero 6 as a film, but to Disney Animation as of late. They are rediscovering the emotional core of their stories and letting them guide outward. And, unsurprisingly, the audience is eating it up. In fact, as much as I love the superhero team that develops in the back half of the film, it almost feels like an add-on to the emotional core. And you know what? It doesn’t matter. The heart of the story, with its incredibly charming robot and its obviously grieving main character, is more than enough weight for the movie to build around. It grounds it; it guides it; it makes it feel like something whole and richly satisfying.

And by the time Baymax utters, “The treatment is working,” your tear ducts will be working overtime.

8. How to Train Your Dragon 2

I’ll never forget the moment when I went into Fred Meyer’s one day and saw Pixar’s Up playing on one display TV, with Dreamwork’s recent Monsters vs Aliens playing on another TV. The comparison was not flattering at all. Up, like all Pixar films, looked astonishing in HD, as perfectly crafted with ornate, meaningful detail as we’ve come to expect. Dreamwork’s film, on the other hand, looked absolutely rushed. The characters all looked the same. The colors looked cheap. Everything felt like a product rushed through the assembly line, chasing money over quality.

When Dreamwork’s released 2011’s How To Train Your Dragon, it was the first film from their studio that felt something like Pixar. The attention to detail was noticeably higher. The character designs were as varied and colorful as anything Pixar had ever put together. The lighting, thanks to a visual consultant aid from cinematography wunderkind Roger Deakins, felt as real and bold as any animated film that came before. Shadows were not only deeper, but almost encouraged. It felt like we had stumbled into a lived-in world, rather than a dashed-together theme park ride.

All of this is to say that the second installment of this series has been on my radar for years. I had no idea that Dean DeBlois, who took over sole reigns after his co-directing partner Chris Sanders moved on, was ready for his moment in the sun. Everything about this movie is deeper. The palate. The mythology. The characters. The detail. Everything.

It grapples with real emotional struggles that we’ve all experienced, and it does it in a way that always feels slightly underplayed and always, always cool. And dragons, guys? You can’t beat dragons. Especially when they’re as enormous as in the picture above.

9. The Boxtrolls

“Cheese, hats, boxes, they don’t make you,” Eggs says. “You make you.”

That line, delivered near the end of the film, may sound a little ridiculous, a stumbling attempt at a platitude. But by the time the film gets there? It works. It works for me. I imagine it will work for many others. And sometimes, let’s be honest, we all need a little reminder that our material goods will never be what makes us who we are. We make who we are. Of course we do.

What stood out to me in this film more than anything is the character design. Far too often, we are seeing animation studios use very similar character models throughout their films – Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks, and even Illumination are all guilty of this. But this film, the 3rd from Laika, is almost a workshop in itself of just how daring you can be with your character design. Each character is incredible distinctive and with so much detail that you will get lost in it. Sometimes the character details are charming, and at times they border on terrifying (who knew lactose intolerance could look so scary?). But they are incredibly inspired in their distinctiveness and willingness to try new things.

Just a jaw-dropping amount of care and detail went into this film. Not everything about this film clicks, but the detail alone is worth any price of admission.

10. 22 Jump Street and They Came Together

After proving (again) their incredible storytelling skills with The Lego Movie only a couple months earlier, Lord and Miller were back to take it to another level. This film, like David Wain’s They Came Together, showed that you can make meta and have heart.

Both films use the deconstruction of the formula – 22 Jump Street with all money-hungry sequels, and They Came Together with every romantic comedy you’ve seen – to not only show how hollow the formula is, but to use them for their own means. They Came Together is all about showing bad romantic comedy cliches at their true core: mostly hot hair with a couple fake kisses. 22 Jump Street uses the formula as a skeleton of which to fill with recognizable emotions – such as that awful feeling when you feel you’re growing apart from the one you love – and inject it with the electricity of hilarious joke after hilarious joke. They both deconstruct the formulas, alright, but they also show why we fall for them every single time.

I still laugh thinking about the intense levels of meta these two films achieved. Bonus points to them for actually making them highly enjoyable movies in the process.

HONORABLE MENTION: Chef

I’ve been a huge fan of Jon Favreau since seeing his debut acting/writing/directing performance in Swingers. Everyone knew he was a born storyteller. He had the chops. He had the charisma. He was ready.

What resulted is Favreau becoming involved with a number of projects with varying degrees of success. But it felt depressing to watch him get beaten up by the Hollywood studio machine with Cowboys & Aliens, Iron Man 2, and a number of big-budget projects that just didn’t work out.

Chef feels like a man exorcising a lot of demons at the same time he’s blazing a new path for himself. It’s a palate-cleanser both for Favreau himself, and for the audience to realize what this man is capable of. This is a simple, gentle film with some well-earned emotions and laughs. You can feel the pain Favreau must have gone through, but you will also experience with him the creative high of turning your life (and your career) around into something that works.

YOUR FUTURE IS BRIGHT AWARD: Neighbors

Coming out of this movie, after having laughed my ass off for two hours, I immediately texted my brother and said, “Dude. You have to see it.” I hounded him for days. I tried to follow up on his mission for weeks. I was convinced he would be raving alongside me. But then I got his response: “Eh, it was okay. It had some kinda funny parts, but felt too much like Project X.” I sat dumbfounded. How could he not have loved Neighbors like I did? But then it hit me: Project X, the 2012 film about 3 teenagers who attempt to throw a lifetime-defining party that quickly gets waaaay out of control, is all about the party and it’s escalating nature. There is an escalating party atmosphere in Neighbors, don’t get me wrong. But what made me laugh the most about Neighbors is the story that, well, neighbors the party: two 30-somethings who are not sure if they’re ready to move on to the next phase of their life, even as they got a baby reminding them that it’s already arrived.

My brother is almost 8 years younger than me. He’s still in college, where sometimes there are parties that escalate. But there aren’t 30-somethings with a baby, desperately trying to show they can still be cool. We plugged into different parts of the film – it happens. So I imagine, maybe 8 years down the road, we will revisit this film together and he, of course, will look to me and say, “Okay, now I see why this is so funny. This is some seriously funny stuff, bro.” And then we will find ourselves foolishly attempting to sneak into someone else’s out-of-control party.

MOST KICKASS MOVIE OF THE YEAR: John Wick

John Wick showed us the simplest way to let everyone know how badass a character is: have the bad guys in the movie speak about him in hushed, reverent tones. I still crack up thinking about the phone calls that took place in this movie, debating how to handle this John Wick. The slow burn of understanding that, Holy smokes, we are so screwed.

This movie is what happens when you have legendary movie fight coordinators take a stab at a story they’ve been dying to tell. All the fights are clearly shot – there’s no shaky cam or nonsensical sense of place. Everything here can be seen and understand. And the conclusion, like John Wick’s actions, is simple: it kicks an unholy amount of ass.

Bonus points to the movie for developing a simple mythology that just made me cackle: a hotel, headed by Lt. Daniels himself, of which no business is allowed to take place on the premises. It’s even more amusing when you realize when the business he speaks of is the killing kind. There are rules. And they must not be broken.

Come for the puppy. Stay for the action. Leave with a smile on your face.

THANKS FOR MAKING ME CRAZY AWARD: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

For a solid 3 months after seeing this film, I whispered “Hail Hydra” in my girlfriends’ ears whenever the time felt appropriate.

There’s never an appropriate time to do it. I blame this movie.

I WILL LOVE YOU SOON AWARD: Grand Budapest Hotel

I imagine that this film will be higher on my 2014 list in the coming years. The film immediately charmed me, but as is wont to happen when you watch a Wes Anderson film as you get sleepy in the middle of a long week, you just might miss the overall aim.

I smile at the parts I remember. I look forward to taking it again as a whole and enjoying it once more.

BIG, BIG BALLS AWARD: Noah

There’s something that happens in Hollywood when a director of smaller, artsier films makes a couple that are so successful he buys himself some capital. A studio, wanting to keep his talent close by and happy, allows him to make the movie he’s always wanted to make, and with a sizeable budget. It happened to Christopher Nolan. And it, to a degree, happened with Darren Aronofsky. And what did he spend his new capital on? A movie he’s wanted to make since childhood: a movie about Noah, of course!

I cannot say enough about the size of this movie’s balls. I am amazed that Paramount willingly put out something like this and didn’t interfere more (though they did try). This film pulls no punches; it holds nothing back. And there are these weirdly awesome, stop-motion-inspired rock monsters! There is all kinds of weird shit in this movie that I just can’t help but admire. And it is all displayed with that same sense of earnestness that Aronofsky had with The Fountain, in which he is deadly serious about the matters at hand and the stakes that come with them. This is as uncompromising as a $125 million dollar movie gets. I can’t praise Aronofsky enough for sticking to his guns.

BEST USE OF AWESOME MONSTERS AWARD: Godzilla

The human story in this film is kinda lame. Populating it with great actors, like Bryan Cranston and Juliette Binoche, helps a little. But even then, it helps to remember this is not a human story – this is a story about the King of Monsters, Godzilla himself. The human story, I’ve decided, is just there for the audience – and just there to create a sense of scale. Because these humans look mighty small next to these giant monsters.

The inspiration from Jurassic Park is obvious here, but in a way that feels inspired rather than copied. These monsters are not immediately on full display, like every other big, special-effects film out there. They are slowly introduced, bit by bit, piece by piece. It’s such a slow, enticing burn that by the time you get to see everything? You damn near explode. Seeing Godzilla be his badass self is quite the treat. And director Gareth Edwards shows that he’s more than got the goods.

I FULLY ADMIT I WATCHED YOU AWARD: The Fault in our Stars

Guys, let me tell you something: there is absolutely no shame in liking or even crying through this movie. It’s okay. Really, it’s okay.

This movie could have gone wrong in so many ways. But when you start your movie with an appearance by the hilarious Mike Birbiglia, populate your film with great actors, and underplay the material as much as you can? It works. It just works. And did I cry real grown-man tears at the end? You bet I did.

I’LL LOVE YOU WHEN I UNDERSTAND YOU AWARD: Snowpiercer

Going to see this film was one of the best movie experiences I’ve ever had. Alamo Drafthouse and their crazy crew set up a wonderful ride aboard the Hill Country Flyer to an outdoor blow-up theater somewhere around Leander. If you ever get a chance to take a true, living train to the movies – something no one can say unless they’re one really old, incredibly dedicated movie fan – you can’t pass that kind of thing up. And Drafthouse one-upped the game by passing out “protein blocks” – those nasty things as seen in the movie – as a nice little snack along the way.

As someone who is Deaf/HH, I knew there would likely be no subtitles (save for those by some of the foreign-language-speaking characters) and yet I still completely “got” the story since director Bong Joon-Ho is one talented visual storyteller. But I imagine that when I revisit the film, with the full subtitles and all the dialogue understandable, this movie will move further up the list.

RELEASE THE GONDRY AWARD: Mood Indigo

I have always been charmed by director Michel Gondry’s craftwork. The guy’s low-fi aesthetic and ability to seemingly make anything out of anything is a joy to watch on screen. But I – and many others – have always felt that he works best in collaboration with another writer. For all his incredible creativity and outside-the-box thinking, his strengths do not extend as much into the realm of storytelling. His ideas don’t always string together into a coherent whole – the balance is always being threatened.

So it came as no surprise that Mood Indigo – a film he wrote and directed – felt uneven. The tone felt all over the place. The story didn’t always gel as well as I wish it would. And it often felt like the film was playing at 1.5x speed, just a little too fast for everything to be taken in properly.

But the creativity on display? Good Lord. I still want a pianocktail (a piano which will make the cocktail drink you’re supposedly playing); I want to ride in a cloud with a bubble window; I want to have a kitchen like the inventor at the heart of the film has. There are so many creative, inspiringly awesome touches throughout the film that I can’t help but think two thoughts: 1) I’m glad this movie exists just so I can see all this cool stuff I never would have imagined, and 2) I wish Gondry could find a writer who taps into his brain well enough to steer him into the whole film he’s always got the parts of.

Maybe one day Gondry will astonish with his pure storytelling ability. But for now? I’ll take all those wonderful inventions and store them in my imagination.

SNEAKIEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR: Penguins of Madagascar

Throughout the entire movie, I had this distinct feeling that nobody was paying attention to the writers. The story works in the ways that formulas always do – as long as you got the structure, you can work your way to the end – even if the formulaic plot is so overused that it happens to almost be a carbon copy of Despicable Me 2. But everything in between? There are so my lines in this movie that I had to assume were either written while stoned or as a dare by the writers to see what they could get away with. There’s an astonishing amount of wordplay and verbal wit that I have to imagine the writer’s simply decided the kids would only care about the animation and the words were where they could do something for the adults stuck in the movie.

The formula creaks and eventually bores. But all the non-plot talking in-between? Delightful, subversive fun.

Well, that’s all folks. I know this list has arrived 2 months into 2015. Hopefully this year I’ll deliver on time.

* Just saw Whiplash recently. Expect some kind of attempt at a review soon.